Poor sleep and turbulent emotions can feed one another in a loop, each amplifying the other. Yet when we meet our feelings with awareness, acceptance, and flexibility, sleep can sometimes follow as a natural peace offering. In this way, emotional mindfulness and rest are not separate disciplines, but twin practices of restoration. One unfolds in the daylight of consciousness, the other in the moonlit depths of the mind.

During sleep, the mind continues to work with the experiences of the day. Memories and emotions are processed and integrated, with REM sleep playing an important role in emotional processing.  When sleep is disrupted, the edges of the day can feel sharper. We may become more reactive and less able to regulate our emotions with gentleness and flexibility.

Different rhythms 🪶

Our biological rhythms are not identical. Walker (2017) explains that when we look across individuals, we discover that not everyone’s circadian timing is the same. The respective peak and trough points can be strikingly different from one individual to the next.

Around 40% of the population are morning types, sometimes known as morning larks, while around 30% are evening types, known as night owls. The remaining 30% fall somewhere between morning and evening types.

An adult’s tendency towards larkness or owlness is strongly influenced by genetics. This means that our preferred timing of sleep and wakefulness is not simply a matter of discipline or personal preference. Some people naturally become sleepy earlier in the evening and wake earlier in the morning, while others naturally become alert later and prefer a later sleep schedule.

This difference becomes important when our biological timing conflicts with the demands of everyday life. Evening types, for example, may be more vulnerable to chronic sleep deprivation when they are required to wake at the same time as morning types, despite naturally falling asleep later. This mismatch between internal timing and social schedules can contribute to insufficient sleep and may be associated with poorer health outcomes.

There are many other ways our rhythms can become disrupted. Shift work, jet lag, irregular schedules, and exposure to light at biologically inappropriate times can all interfere with the relationship between our internal clock and the external world.

The result is not always simply that we feel tired. When the timing of sleep becomes repeatedly misaligned, the quality and restorative function of sleep can also be affected.

Emotion Regulation 🍃

As Vandekerckhove and Wang (2018) note, sleep and emotion regulation have a close and bidirectional relationship. Sleep deprivation can increase emotional arousal and sensitivity to stressful stimuli, while emotional experiences and difficulties with emotion regulation can also affect sleep. 

While we sleep, the brain continues to process emotional experiences and consolidate emotional memories. Research suggests that sleep plays an important role in emotional processing and may help support more adaptive emotional responses the following day. 

A 2021 meta-analysis of 65 randomised controlled trials found that interventions that improved sleep quality also led to improvements in mental health, including reductions in depression, anxiety, rumination, and stress. The researchers also found that greater improvements in sleep quality were associated with greater improvements in mental health outcomes (Scott et al., 2021).

Matthew Walker describes the relationship between sleep and emotional regulation by examining the brain’s ability to respond appropriately to emotional experiences. When sleep is disrupted or insufficient, emotional reactions can become more intense, while the systems involved in regulating those reactions may function less effectively.

This can help explain something many of us recognize from ordinary experience: after a poor night’s sleep, situations that would normally feel manageable can suddenly feel much more difficult. We may have less patience, become more easily frustrated, or find ourselves ruminating over things we might otherwise have been able to let go.

Together, these findings suggest that taking care of our sleep can be a practical form of emotional care. Sleep may not solve emotional difficulties on its own, but it can give us more of the mental and emotional resources we need to face them.

Closing Thought 🌙

I have always considered myself more of a morning lark, but I have come to realize that even our relationship with our own rhythm can change. My sleep has been affected by my mental health, and I notice particular changes during the darker months of the year. These experiences have made me appreciate how individual, and sometimes changeable, our relationship with sleep can be.

Our sleep needs and rhythms are not always as simple as following a routine. Learning to listen to our bodies and minds may be a gentler way of caring for our rest. Rest is not a luxury. It is part of caring for our physical health, mental wellbeing, and emotional resilience.

References & Further Reading

• Matthew Walker, PhD (2017). Why We Sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Website
• Scott, A. J., Webb, T. L., Martyn-St James, M., Rowse, G., & Weich, S. (2021). Improving sleep quality leads to better mental health: A meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials. BMJ Open, 11(12), e046487. Link 
• Vandekerckhove, M., & Wang, Y. (2018). Emotion, emotion regulation and sleep: An intimate relationship. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1–13. Link
• United Arab Emirates University. (2022). Good sleep, a big player in resilience and strengthening the mind. Nature. Link